I have ten minutes. Ten minutes to articulate what I have struggled all my life to understand. Eight minutes now, it must have taken longer than I thought to open this word document and select the font that makes me most comfortable.
I do not know what it is that I am meant to even be saying; I am not entirely sure that is going to be clear to me just yet, but a seed has been planted and the line
“Listen my soul to the glad refrain”*
keeps rising to the top of my thoughts, like a cork forcing its way to the surface of the water.
I have no business thinking like this. I change my mind as often as…..
Do not waste time on similes. The point is I change my mind often, but the one constant throughout my life is a niggling thought, it sounds something like certainty, or blind faith in the inexplicable. And the years I have spent in and out of that thought and yet it remains as constant as…..stop.
And it is so comforting to me that it remains the same. No matter what I do or what I say – how I betray its messages and guidance – its protection of me, no matter what, it remains steadfast and certain. Certain.
Yes, I am aware that none of this makes sense. Ten minutes is just not enough time.
*From “New Every Morning” by Susan Coolidge