10 Minutes

I have ten minutes. Ten minutes to articulate what I have struggled all my life to understand. Eight minutes now, it must have taken longer than I thought to open this word document and select the font that makes me most comfortable.

Seven.

I do not know what it is that I am meant to even be saying; I am not entirely sure that is going to be clear to me just yet, but a seed has been planted and the line

“Listen my soul to the glad refrain”*

keeps rising to the top of my thoughts, like a cork forcing its way to the surface of the water.

Six.

I have no business thinking like this. I change my mind as often as…..

Four.

Do not waste time on similes. The point is I change my mind often, but the one constant throughout my life is a niggling thought, it sounds something like certainty, or blind faith in the inexplicable. And the years I have spent in and out of that thought and yet it remains as constant as…..stop.

Two.

And it is so comforting to me that it remains the same. No matter what I do or what I say – how I betray its messages and guidance – its protection of me, no matter what, it remains steadfast and certain. Certain.

One.

Yes, I am aware that none of this makes sense. Ten minutes is just not enough time.

*From “New Every Morning” by Susan Coolidge