“I have now been made Assistant Headteacher; why am I not yet content?” This is a line from a sketchy version of a journal I kept off-and-on for a few years. I found the book buried in my sock drawer this morning and opened it up. I haven’t looked at it since I got sober […]
That Don’t Surprise I!
I want to take you back in time to the late-eighties and early nineties; it was a very different place to be back then for a gay man. Section 28 was still alive and kicking and equal marriage wasn’t even a wishful thought – more a seemingly impossible dream. Gay men were viewed with suspicion […]
A Reflection on “Accepting Help” from Letting Go of the Thief by Pamela Pesta
When I was a child I remember several mentions in my report cards of my reluctance to ask for help. For me, I believe, my reasons were more out of fear of humiliation than from any desire for control or a belief that I knew best. I constantly had this feeling of being “less than” […]
For the last year or more my little made-up eye has been staring out at you from behind a ripped piece of paper. The response to my avatar is always mixed; sometimes it makes people feel uncomfortable, sometimes it generates questions (the latest one being “Who did your make up?”) and others still greet it […]
The First Step – Part II
The First Step “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.” It sounds so simple, but it is the toughest of steps for any alcoholic to take, whether that alcoholic chooses the path of a 12 step programme or not. Yet, this step is key to any alcoholic getting and […]
The First Step
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.” It sounds so simple, but it is the toughest of steps for any alcoholic to take, whether that alcoholic chooses the path of a 12 step programme or not. Yet, this step is key to any alcoholic getting and staying sober. For […]
Truth or Lie?
Lying Embellishing the truth Exaggerating Little white lies Withholding information Whatever you choose to call it, however you try to justify it and whatever your motivation – a lie is a lie. Discuss. As a young child I was discontent with my lot. I wanted to be different, exciting – my life didn’t compare to […]
A Review: “Letting Go of the Thief: A Ninety Day Journey Inside the Thoughts of an Alcoholic” (Pamela Pesta, Outskirts Press)
When I got sober I bought sobriety books like I used to buy alcohol – obsessively. In the first few months I rapidly built up a little sobriety library, very few of them were ever read completely, many more not touched at all, but I somehow felt that owning them would make me better. Then […]
I felt rather smug at the beginning of lockdown. After all, I had my 12 step programme and I was totally prepared for ‘keeping it in the day’ and accepting what I could and couldn’t change; what could possibly go wrong? Evidently, this 12 step programme only works if you actually do the work! Who […]